But I don't know if I can be with her for the rest of my life. He's controlling. It happens almost all the time that children involved in such situations rather suffer the consequencies. YOU'LL BE STABLE. CLARITY friend you do make a lot of sense. As a woman, you get insulted for doing it, and you get insulted for not doing it. Long story short: we've togheter Long distance girlfriend pregnant and is thinking about breaking up. And the same with me. I am wondering if i can and how i can win my ex back. No one can tell you what to do, we all have different stories. MzGee Ditches 3Music TV To Take Over Nana Ama McBrowns Show At UTV. U dont love her bcos u havent made ur mind to do so the moment u sit down to think about this gurl as a grown man n de future, am sure u start developin love for her and am sure u liked her thats why u slept with her what makes u slept with her?? When a woman loves you, she's kind to you. Keep looking down and feeling like you don't deserve something good won't get you anywhere. Having children is not cheap. But we started fighting more and more. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. there will be hatred, resentment, and misery. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. It's that type of kindness you feel toward someone who's very close to your heart. (5 kg) or more a year after giving birth, Live Science previously reported. Opinions please. My two oldest remember some fighting and the divorce. AND THE END OF THE DAY IS ALSO HERS. If only i had acted 2-3 years ago when things were simpler and i was a little younger. SCENARION 4: HAVE AN OBORTION. Life will not be easier staying with him. The episode was written by Jennifer Crittenden and . Every toddler boy I've ever met has a destructive streak I am just not into. HERE YOU GIVE A CHANCE FOR THE MOTHER, THE CHILD, THE FATHER AND THE GIRLFRIEND AT HAPPINESS IN LIFE. Asking why you had sex with her in the first place wont solve this problem cos its everywhere in our societies and its just unfortunate your hit and run opportunity couldnt worked out. I am at a loss as to what I must do. Sorry to say this, but your gf cannot be trusted. Unless your girlfriend deems fine that you both do not continue the relationship, by all means. I sacraficed my needs for them. 1) If you seriously just want the child, but not the mother, you know this can never happen unless you have an agreement with your girlfriend. I have heard that arranged marriages actually have a better long term outcome because of this. I am a single mom and have been for a few years- however, my first child was planned with my fiance' and we were madly in love and it was the greatest, happiest time of my life. Unless GF is somehow unfit, she'll get custody, meaning she makes the calls and gets support (e.g. I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. I agree that love is more a choice than a feeling. If you've only been together 3 mos, where did you live before you met? He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. He will probably try to then use the baby against you. The relationship seems new and I know that is hard. Open-Ended Questions To Ask A Girl (205 Open Ended Questions To Ask A Girl), How To Make A Girl Blush Over Text (101 Things To Say), How To Compliment A Girl Over Text (141 Ways), Qualities Of A Good Woman (29 Vital Qualities), How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested (25 Helpful Tips), Signs A Married Woman Wants You To Make A Move (23 Signs To Look For), How To Turn On A Woman With Words (155 Tips), 27 Obvious Signs A Woman Wants To Sleep With You, Reasons Why Pisces Man Loves Scorpio Woman (9 Interesting Reasons), If He Doesnt Introduce You To His Friends, What Does It Mean? no one is going to be happy in that relationship. SCENARIO 1: STAY WITH HER BECUASE SHE IS PREGNANT (THIS IS THE FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP). If I cant love her now, what are the possibilities that Ill love her? THAT'S IT. I got pregnant with a 34 year old man with another baby and I'm only 19 we've know each other 3 months now but only knew each other a couple weeks when we found out. CLICK HERE to subscribe to our daily up-to-date news!! You said you quit your job Is that because of the pregnancy? Does it feels good to fake your feelings? Chosing to be in a rebound relationship to forget the past and aiming for some fun also cause a problem. what is de main reason why u do not love her?? Why not sharing in the upbringing of the child? the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. You should have your own baby feelings figured out. My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. A. Think about it if you can't love him ever then end it and learn to co parent. If you just dont see it working it is better to do it now. You're an adult. most times the child bears all the burnt of this relationship as the child would be looked upon as some sort of curse to both parties life the father will hate the child instead of loving it and the mother will eventual resent her child. Time to grow up! Eventually I grew to love him, but not the fairy tale kind of love. This is why i found it hard to break up with her although I'd thought about it many times in the past. Sucked it up and did what I had to do for my kids. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. It is normal to want to lay your head on your mother's breast and feel the security and warmth of her love and compassion. my point is no one really wins in this situation. seriously.. i find it hard to understand SOME MEN. HAPINESS IS AN INDIVIDUAL RESPOSIBLITY. But that luxury comes with an expiration date, especially for women. Even if it does get better, odds are it won't, why would you want to have a life with someone you don't love? As I said earlier, each person has different needs. Couples do stay together when they are not in love, just for the sake of stability for the child. His family is great also. Either way, I was ready to "play house". If I do something to hurt their father then im hurting my children because they love him. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. Everybody deserves someone who is able to appreciate, respect, and love themselves. Grown apart and have no interest in each others lives! For many, it was an easy decision that often came down to a gut feeling and the common refrain that. I pretended to be. Second thing that you can do after having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it is to be responsible. Be responsible of your act and decision on something. Girlfriend is pregnant don't know if it's mine. At the end of the day, you won't be able to find happiness that you have been looking for. It's his car, it's not petty if he keeps it. (1 to 2 kg . But I want to be a father. We found out. Sounds like she was looking for a sugar daddy and ended up getting pregnant. Girlfriend Brokeup while pregnant. NO PHYSICAL THINGS. It was ok if we didn't want to be together. What can I do please? The "baby blues" are a form of depression - just not as severe as PPD. Remember, the decision you make will decide whether you will be happy or not in the near future. Sometimes it feels like you just can't win. And one of the problems is the appearance of a question having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it? think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. I try to act normal as Bella and I sit here talking, even though I'm feeling abnormally attracted to her even . you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. *I also grew up in a home where my parents were unhappy. I do not know the answer to that. This is the most stupid guy I have seen in my life twety something years of existance. Might not happen overnight but think of where you want to see yourself in a year. LoveDevani is an independent website. Tell her at home and in private. We don't have to be together to love our children. I dont want to jump into marriage as if its a job contract I am signing expecting that one day it will expire. Its been almost 5yrs. For all the guys out there who think a woman is the stepping stone to the next onewear a condom. This may not change her decision, but best to be honest. SAY IT AGAIN! We had been dating for maybe a few months before exclusive. You could have an easy pregnancy, a quick easy delivery and a healthy happy baby. a deed frowned upon by society and seen as a problem The deed has already been done instead of advising and coming up with ways to make sure the child is brought up in a obviously deserving loving environment that the child needs instead of an environment filled with resentment, hate, misery, spitefulness etc etc, you all are pushing.insulting and forcing the guy to guy marry the girl in question.. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. !So the next time you wake up and look at the zit face woman you married that disgusts you and you hate her because you could have banged all the women you wanted but she got knocked up! DO YOU WANT TO CHILD TO HAVE A MESSED UP UPBRINGING LIKE YOU DID? But kids are smarter than you think. You could have the best partner and tons of family support. View woman having a baby videos Browse 599,438 woman having a baby stock photos and images available, or search for woman in labor or woman giving birth to find more great stock photos and pictures. @jessi, LMFAOI like ur commentVery BLUNT and to the POINT. He made a baby with you but doesn't seem to support you financially and you don't live together. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. To allow yourself to stay in a toxic relationship will be useless. I don't know what I'm asking for, I'm just venting at the moment. You may want to consider marriage counseling talk to your pastor, priest whatever. And a bit frightening. I feel bad for you but you basically gave him the green light to control you. Take this advice as if your life depends on it. My girlfriend is pregnant and suddenly i realize that she may not be all i ever wanted. start communicatin with her without quarrellin give her a try n am sure things gonna work out Or r u afraid u wont be able to sleep around or play ur games wen she step into urlife dear dwag such life n face reality. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. "All of the rational thoughts. In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. It's like I've been sleepwalking all this timeI apologize for my rumbling, i really needed to get this off my chest. The problem I have now is that have a beautiful baby girl with one girl I impregnated whom I dont love. Told me "**** the baby" I was gone for a while after that but went back due to having no where else to go. Good luck to you. That doesn't mean you give up your relationship w/the child, you will have to share custody, and likely pay support (unless you have the kid more than she does, but that's rare). He made a baby with you but doesn't seek out or make an effort to spend time with his daughter. There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. Only good thing that came out of it are my children. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. We've been together 9. Sooner or later it'll be over. I couldn't be myself with him. BE RESPOSIBLE MAKE SURE TO BE THERE FOR THE CHILD. How can you discuss your thoughts with her in a healthy way? I know many people that don't feel a connection to their babies for whatever reason until they are born, it happens and it will definitely change once you see his little face. As opposed to hanging out with friends and other men she isn't in love with, she may be much more outgoing and boisterous. 1.) I'm having a baby with someone I'm not in love with. long story short. You have a hard decision to make. Its best to rip the band-aid off now instead of living a miserable life indefinitely. 2. :(. SCENARIO 3: FORGET ABOUT THE WOMAN YOU LOVE. not the father, mother or child. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. As I read the last couple lines I typed, I sound so selfish. Create an account or log in to participate. I've been with my boyfriend for years and I still don't know if I love him. We broke up 6 weeks ago and we Ok long story short my girlfriend of over a year was raped by someone that My girlfriend doesn't think I love her, but I do love her. But shes not the type, shes fond of me un-necessarily. I don't know if this is pregnancy hormones (I am only 5 weeks) or if I really feel this way. First step: Don't rush things. Maybe he doesn't like being used. Good luck. You moved into his house, you let him buy you a car and you quit your job because he was financial there. "Most women will find intercourse painful up until the three-month mark," notes Ross. Americans love coffee. And the best way to do it is to proof to anyone that this version of you is so much better than you were. If you don't like him, you don't have to live with him or use him. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. I wish I wasn't pregnant by him. Also, don't give her a dime of your money towards the baby until you find out if it's yours. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). That's when one of them dropped the term . Wear a condom, or allow some woman to own your future (and your money) for a couple decades of your life! we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. When I did he the. There are many women out here who will do this if given the chance. However I would like children just not in this circumstance you know? Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? In other words, those maternal. You need a job and a plan so that you don't get stuck with him forever. 2Face. In some cases it works, but for many it doesn't. He nearly killed you. It wasn't ideal but eventually I got a better job and bought myself a nice car. People don't know he has a daughter, which tells me he's not proud of her, or truly claiming her in any way. Either stay or get off the pot but be careful how you play this. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. I was not in love with the guy I got pregnant by. Ex My moving on process. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. ALL THIS TRANSLATE TO THE CHILD. So, maybe try to establish a relationship with your baby now, stick it out for a year or so (w/o getting married), then once you've bonded w/the kid and proven you are a devoted dad, split up w/GF and file for custody. Is she shaka Zulu or she is not attracted to u?? Especially in your baby's life! Im in the exact same boat man. Lovers have a fun in comfortable room. Welcome to the world little one! I do love her a lot as a person but i am not in love with her. Support yourself. We are trying our best but we don't know how long it will last. I do feel sorry for you and the situation you are in. And if your parents think you guys are in love Then how does that work? We are two total opposite people. "We are. In November 2022, I gave birth to my precious baby girl. FTM. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. The Stages of Wanting to Have a Baby, by Age From being adorably clueless to using all the condoms to #MomLife. Be true to yourself and you will allow yourself to get things that you deserve. Why is it when a women gets up the duff it's all her fault? She got pregnant 3 months after meeting him. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. This is it, i went and made my life more complicated than it already was by adding a new factor, a child, to the equation. You had the intention to be with someone for fun without taking the consequences seriously. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. Please I need your help because I might be pushed to get married when am not prepared. Ive just seen your reply and am unhappoy in my relationship but dont want to end it for the kids sake! Steve. Help :(. What are the reasons for not wanting to be with her? He and my parents think that we are in love, but I have been keeping my true feelings to myself for 6 months: I don't love him. We won't agree with you, if we think you are not right, sorry, girl! I don't get how you came to that conclusion and you are just a bitter girl that I hated the way I felt with him. Having a baby can create a bond that encourages mature personal growth and strengthens a couple's commitment to each other -- but that doesn't happen overnight, and more often, it doesn't. Satisfaction can be found through bringing up children . She will touch you in a gentle way, kiss you softly and hug you with her heart. i know for sure u dated her for longer b4 she got pregnant start looking at the quality this gal have n think of ur daughter after that give her a chance n delete that mind of not loving her out of ur mind n married her ..am sure God will give u new hrt to love her.. Aim to have a better and best partner that you can have. My youngest doesn't really remember anything. In the end its all about the kids. I find the really difficult and I just have idea what do. Damaged. He bought it and it is in his name. I'm in love with a married man And his wife is pregnant. Yes, you can still be happy in a relationship without being married. Adults with kids don't need someone else to financially support them. My eldest is 3 then one nearly 2 and one due any time, we dont fight too much but dont love each other, dont even like each other, I just dont want the kids not to have family days and stuff? Nobody wants to be controlled and it sounds like he deals with anger pretty poorly. Just that simple. Long story short my ex dumped me. On top of that, my age (early forties) scared me into accepting the situation thinking that i am too old to start all over again and wasting more time. Don't marry someone you don't love. the guy might turn into a psychopath and malevolent towards the girl.he would also probably turn into a serial cheater and wife beater which is usually what happens. That is exactly how I feel about my life over the past 8 years - it feels like I have been sleepwalking. That's what we tackle in today's blog. You will love that baby no matter what when it gets here! It tears me apart. Right now her parents are planning to bring her over to my house. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. He started cheating and I would cry myself to sleep. I want to be a great Dad, but I don't want to be miserable for the next 18 years - I don't know what to do. I want to be a father!!! The author playing in the snow in December 2022. Because, you are not allowing yourself to have a better relationship, at least with your own self. MUST READ: Is Christmas Bibilical Or Paganism? So, chances are, she's not speaking as she normally would. Sex can lead to pregnancy and I'm assuming you knew the possibility of pregnancy when you made the choice. Eventually though, it caught up to us. Learn more about, Realizing I Had PPD After Returning to Work as a Soldier in the U.S. Army, Planned c section too presumptuous??? 15) His biological clock is ticking. **** will get tough before it gets better, but it will work out in the end. The guy I was seeing was fun to party with but I didn't love him. His baby mama got engaged to some dude while pregnant calls her fiance the kid's 'daddy', despite my friend wanting to be a father to his child. We are two total opposite people. Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. No going back. YES PRO-LIFE HOWEVER THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY COULD YOU PROVIDE THE BEST FOR THE CHILD? SHE DESERVES A SAYING IN THIS! Once the humiliation of being in a loveless marriage is confronted, it can be accepted and even result in a long-term relationship. THE TRUTH IS THAT NO MATTER LOVE CANNOT BE FORCED. Spend time with like-minded people who love and respect your choices. 37 weeks today. 'I regret having children' In pushing the boundaries of accepted maternal response, women are challenging an explosive tabooand reframing motherhood in the process By Anne Kingston At first. I even feel guilty saying this considering how hard other couples are trying to have a child and can't. Last updated on June 9, 2022 by Michelle Devani There are many things that may cause a broken heart. You don't want support, you just want to hear he is a bad guy and you are a victim. To not make the problem goes worse, be responsible for your unwanted partner and the baby. I feel that i have fallen into serious depression and i might seek some professional help. My girlfriend admitted to me that she cheated. Accept That You Will Never Be First. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. marriage should not be a punishment or a form of contract. You have to remember you are only going to be a victim for as long as you allow yourself to be one. I'm sorry this is long but I have no one else. Lastly, keeping a child she wanted to abort could cause her to hate the child, it's not guaranteed she would love the child when it was born. Sure, most couples are madly "in love" at first, but as time goes on I think most people who have been married 10, 20, 50+ years will say that love is first a choice and then feelings follow and there are some hard times when the feelings are not there and all you are left with is the choice to show love to this person. This discussion is archived and locked for posting. By Simon Maybin. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. Men don't have a biological clock in the same sense as women. You could be the best, healthiest, most well adjusted person. Please, please do not have an abortion like somebody commented. I chose to divorce my husband and my boyfriend of 4yrs has now ditched meit's also the consequence for the actions that I chose GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! have condoms been created for monkeys, so silly, i feel for your baby maannnnn, irresponsible parents. but honestly did society really win? And 3 children. She has done nothing wrong and I feel I am just going to destroy her life! Not that it matters - if you have feelings for someone else, you can't be in love with your gf so sounds like leaving is the right decision, as staying together for a child with someone you don't love never works out in the long run. Don't stay just for the kids. "People would say, 'I don't want to have a baby because I don't have money or I don't have time or I don't have a partner,'" he says. If someone truly needs GA, that's absolutely what it's for. We were fighting like crazy right before we found out she was pregnant. Ease into the conversation. Will the feeling of disconnection to this baby ever go away? No need to waste time your life and time on him. On the most basic level, these changes, prompted by a flood of hormones during pregnancy and in the postpartum period, help attract a new mother to her baby. Is it okay for you to feel down all the time thinking about the mistake you did? NO BABY no matter what deserves to be killed. I honestly could not ever think of missing out on this child's growing up, especially the early stages. All rights reserved. They were always fighting. This relationship is bad for my wife and me. maybe take a pre-marital class and figure out some common ground to build a relationship on Nine years ago I was mad in love with my first boyfriend. He's not all bad. Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you? Mary Morris Former Bookkeeper Author has 285 answers and 1.6M answer views 2 y Good luck! Being pregnant isn't an excuse to work not work, I worked up until I was 38 weeks along by choice. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? I wasn't happy. If you don't, pursuing. Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. If you break up right away, she can take the kid and you may miss a lot of the firsts w/them growing up. An increasing number of South Korean women are choosing not to marry, not to have children, and not even to have relationships with men. The author playing in the snow in December 2022. Learn more about. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. Now she's pregnant. Obviously she is going to get custody if we split up. To start? Even though you never had the intention to have a serious relationship with your current partner, you still need to discuss the problem with him. But I don't feel the need to hold that up as a shield (though every time I see a movie where the childless woman is the villain I understand why my fellow non-parents doth protest too much . !I've been married for ten long miserable years to a wife I never loved. This difficult parent-child dynamic is most typical of families where one or both parents are narcissistic, but it's not exclusive to narcissists only. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). I don't feel that he is someone that I want to be with forever. 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. Do you think that she would let you be a father if you two were to split? Good one boys real mature!! We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. FTM. Like, we really, seriously, truly love it. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 22, 1995. SCENARIO 4: BE TRUTHFUL TO THE PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND AND LET HER ALSO HAVE SAY AS TO WHAT SHE WANTS. Also my ex is unlikely to have children which in her case actually doesn't matter to me. I grew up where my dad treated me like ****, so I wanted to be the best father I could. K lemme get one thing straight. Sometimes people make choices to abort, adopt, or keep the child. but she didn't have her baby . Amazed how women can be on these forums. If thats all he wants, he will be gone. Long story short. They were always fighting, unhappy. Here Are 10 Behaviors A Woman Exhibits When She's In Love 1. I was in love with someone else. I completely respect her decision on this. In fact, before we found out I was pregnant (which was completely unplanned) I was thinking of breaking up with him. It wasn't working out before she got pregnant and now it's 100x worse because of her hormones. After all, what is marriage if there is no happiness? We work hard to share our most timely and active conversations with you. Have you told him you're pregnant yet?
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